Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that many communities believe mothers and fathers should pay attention to their

children

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’s

activities

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carefully, but others think freedom is very important for

children

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. I think

children

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's parents should supervise their

activities

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This

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essay will analyze

this

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topic from both points of view. On the one hand, keeping an eye on

children

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when they are playing or doing an activity has a lot of advantages and benefits.

children

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like to explore everything, so watching them carefully will protect them from bad things which might happen.

For example

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, a child might try to use dangerous tools like knives and scissors, and

as a result

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, he will hurt or injure himself or other kids.

On the other hand

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, providing freedom to

children

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will make them independent in doing things, and they will try to explore everything.

This

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will allow them to have more knowledge and they will make their own experiences.

In addition

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to that, exploring will let them be more confident about themselves.

For instance

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, a child who has a big area to explore things, and has tools to make science experiments, will try to do them alone.

As a result

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, he will learn new information, and he will be proud of himself.

To sum up

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, supervising

children

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activities

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carefully with their parents will help them to suffer from bad situations.

However

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, providing the freedom for

children

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to explore will help them to be independent. In my opinion, parents should pay attention to

children

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’s

activities

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to avoid using dangerous appliances.

Hoor AlshaikhSun Jun 01 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Include a clearer introduction that summarizes both views more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Expand your conclusion to reinforce your opinion and summarize the key points discussed.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, especially for the benefits of freedom for children.

coherence and cohesion

Improve sentence structure and punctuation for better clarity and flow.

task achievement

You have clearly presented both sides of the argument.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical flow of ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

supervise
activities
freedom
safety
well-being
risk
behavior
relationships
guide
habits
choices
experiences
independent
problem-solving
skills
confidence
decisions
consequences

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Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?