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Band 5

Giving Detail information of Crime in Newspaper and on television has bad consequences, some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. What extent you agree or disagree?

#detail #information #crime #newspaper #television #consequences #suggest #government #restriction
In recent times crime
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 have escalated beyond
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 limit. There is a school of thought who thinks that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
providing every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
 of
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
 in
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or television can lead to adverse situations. Some people have given
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
show examples
 that government should apply some rules on that. I agree with
this
 thought
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 and I will shed my views in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, doing any unlawful act always pushes you to bad situations. As the law has always been superior to
man-kind
Correct your spelling
mankind
show examples
. Sometimes people think that they will escape from their bad doings but it is impossible to beat the law.
To begin
 with, newspaper and television always
keeps
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
 us updated.
For instance
, it provides us
information
 about
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
, sports, entertainment and crime as well. Many times it happens that media gives every inch of
information
 about crimes. In
such
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 it gives
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
show examples
 to criminals to find a
Correct your spelling
loophole
show examples
loop hole
Correct your spelling
loophole
show examples
 or a way to escape from doing that same act. Sometimes it
also
 creates chaos in society as some of the
deatils
Correct your spelling
details
 are horrifying.
However
,
such
 news keeps you alert so that you can not be a victim of
such
 acts but at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 time it
also
impose
Change the verb form
imposes
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fear in people to trust a fellow person in society. Not only that sometimes
this
 media becomes bias with their
information
 and
instead
 of being neutral they start to provide judgements on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own before any official authorities
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
Also
 many times details of
such
 events are not as accurate too.
Therefore
 government should create
such
body
Correct article usage
a body
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 varifies
such
information
 and create guidelines to publish these details
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
such
extent
Correct article usage
an extent
show examples
. To sum up, I reiterate my opinion that
official
Correct article usage
the official
show examples
 administrative body should always
keeps
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
eyes
Fix the agreement mistake
eye
show examples
 on
such
 media. Not only that public should not belives
such
 details without
clarify
Change the verb form
clarifying
show examples
 them.
Submitted by pakshit910 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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