Space travel has been possible for some time and some people say that space tourism will be developed in the future. What do you think space travel is positive or negative a development?

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In recent times,
space
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travel has been possible, and it is considered by some
people
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that it would be easy for
people
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to move there in the future for adventure. In my opinion, I absolutely believe that travelling into
space
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has a positive effect on the environment and the
people
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at large.
To begin
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with,travelling into
space
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is very beneficial to human
beings
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.
This
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is because it gives society opportunities to know more about outer
space
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.
Therefore
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, human
beings
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know more about galaxies, the universe and solar systems by travelling into
space
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,
Therefore
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, all the knowledge
obtaining
Wrong verb form
obtained
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from going to
space
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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in developing and improving the planet itself ,
for instance
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, recent studies carried out by
Russian
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Russia
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and the USA astronauts help to developed more satellite on the globe which is used by networking providers on the globe surface.
In addition
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, travelling into
space
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whether for adventures or to improve science is
also
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advantageous to our environment.
This
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is because the planet itself is overpopulated with human
beings
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, and the
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earth
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earth's
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natural
resources
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are declining every day.
However
Linking Words
, going to
space
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can solve the problem by reducing the number of
people
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on the
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earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
surface when society moves to
space
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. Many studies have shown that there is a higher number of natural
resources
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in
space
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compared to
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earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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.
However
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, moving to
space
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can help by bringing natural
resources
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to use on the
earth
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which would eventually increase the number of natural
resources
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available on the
earth
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. In conclusion, I agree that travelling into
space
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has a positive effect on human
beings
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and
its surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
their surroundings
show examples
.
Submitted by temitope.sabitu on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure you fully explore and explain your points, providing sufficient evidence and analysis. Several points you made lacked depth and proper backing, therefore reducing your score in the category of 'supported main points'.
Task Achievement
Your response accurately answered parts of the question and showed a decent understanding of the task, but some aspects of the question were not covered in as much detail as they could've been. Make sure to discuss all points in the question thoroughly.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary you used was generally varied and appropriate, but be careful with your choice of words. At times, the language became repetitive and some words used could have been replaced with better synonyms for a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The sentence structure and grammar used were quite precise and appropriate, however, there were a few minor errors that need to be corrected. Be cautious with grammatical inconsistencies and minor slips in punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancement in technology
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Inequality
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable practices
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