IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#population #countries #adults #people #situation
The population of young adults outweighs the number of older adults in some countries,
this
 comes with both benefits and drawbacks. I think it is more advantageous to have more young people. On the one hand, one of the benefits of having a large number of youths is; there is a bigger labour market. The elders have to retire soon and they leave vacant spaces that might not get occupied if the younger generation is relatively small in quantity. These youths spend more time and contribute more to the country’s economy.
Furthermore
, they usually have fresher and more progressive ideas that can be beneficial to their nation. They learn new methods of tackling challenges, innovations and values.
For example
, I noticed that countries with more youths in their government tend to make enormous technological advancements.
On the other hand
, the older generation is usually more experienced and skilled. They have worked, lived for a long time and encountered more challenges
this
 gives them the wisdom and skill to handle situations properly.
Moreover
, they are morally zealous which means they hold their principles to a high standard.
This
 trait is important mostly as the world keeps evolving and some countries lose their culture, values and system because of
this
. They have a better understanding of history and will be quick to oppose ideas that are against what they or their country stands for. To conclude, both the young and old contribute immensely to their country but change is important and young people have better ideas that can lead their nation forward with the right energy and motivation.
Submitted by vicjumboshalom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: