IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that university admission should be given to all school leavers, while others think otherwise. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Education
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 has long been seen as the foundation for development and success. With the general public’s increasing awareness of the importance of
education
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, some have suggested that access to tertiary
education
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 be granted universally,
while
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 others hold the opposite belief.
This
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 essay aims to elaborate on both of these views and present my personal opinion that university admission should be made based on clear standards and requirements. An equal chance of higher
education
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 offers key benefits for secondary graduates and society as a whole. Chief among them is a diverse academic environment. The reason for
this
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 rests on the
students
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’ range of abilities, interests, and socioeconomic backgrounds, which could not be attained with limiting access for a certain population of school leavers.
This
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 creates an inclusive environment where
students
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 can reap the benefits of social cohesion and the introduction to various perspectives.
Furthermore
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, offering admission to all secondary graduates can contribute to societal prosperity.
This
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 is because tertiary
education
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 equips
students
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 with the rudimentary skills and professional knowledge for future career
path
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paths
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. By admitting
students
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 regardless of their academic abilities and cultural backgrounds, universities can solidify their roles in producing an educated workforce, which
further
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 boosts economic growth and national wealth.
However
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, I would argue that universal access to higher
education
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 hinders
students
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’ potential development. To be more specific, tertiary
education
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’s elite image among
students
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 has successfully spurred them on to excel academically.
Therefore
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, making the prestige of university attendance available for everyone deters
students
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 from striving for academic excellence, causing a significant reduction in
students
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’
caliber
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calibre
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due to
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 a lack of competition. Most importantly, academic readiness is probably the greatest concern. Secondary graduation is based on a sufficient level of curriculum completion, which lacks a general assessment of the skill set vital for tertiary
education
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.
As a result
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, shortlisting capable
students
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 warrants the establishment of clear standards and specific ways of testing
such
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 as interviews and academic records to ensure
students
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’ necessary skills to encounter academic challenges. In conclusion, despite
education
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’s universal significance, I subscribe to the belief that university administrators should not grant admission to all school leavers, but single out suitable and qualified ones based on particular requirements and conditions.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments and make them more tangible.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, summarizing the main idea of the paragraph before elaborating.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and clearly states the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
A strong logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, contributing to coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context and the conclusion provides a clear summary of the writer’s opinion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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