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Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the discussion about financial
education
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 getting more serious due to
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 problems of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation. Some people believed that financial
education
 should be considered a mandatory subject at school. read comment The common problem for those young people is that they don’t know how to spend
money
 in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 way. As we can see many advertisements often carry out the message, “Only 10 dollars a week, no deposits” which is misleading
those young one
Change the determiner
that young one
those young ones
show examples
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that living in debt is normal. Financial
education
 is one of the solutions for
this
 problem we
mention
Change the form of the verb
mentioned
show examples
 above. The basic idea of financial
education
 as a core school subject is to teach those young ones to understand the concept of using
money
 and to estimate
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 risk of borrowing
money
 to buy something in the future. ...
However
, there's another factor we need to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In my opinion, the role of financial
education
 is getting more important and it should be a part of the school program but the parents are
also
 important and have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to teach their child to learn how to manage the
money
. More than 70% of young people’s
money
is come
Change to the active voice
comes
has come
show examples
 from their parents.
In addition
, it has to be considered that a student might become
money-mind
Correct article usage
a money-mind
show examples
 person, talking about
money
 all the time in class or even in a public place. It can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 some students and affect their normal social life. In conclusion, I believed that financial
education
 will have a positive effect on all young ones and
other subject
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
show examples
such
social
Change preposition
as social
show examples
 commutations should be considered just as important as financial
education
.
Submitted by balasz1995 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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