IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Recently, you went for shopping at a famous mall. When you returned, you realised that you had been charged for items you did not actually buy. Write a letter to the authority in-charge explaining what has happened. In your letter, ● describe the situation ● explain the items you have bought and their cost ● tell him how you feel about the error and ask him to do something about it

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to ask a favour about
items
Use synonyms
 purchased from a famous mall. When I returned, I realised that I had been charged for
items
Use synonyms
 did not actually buy.
Although
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 I went
for
Change preposition
apply
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shopping at a famous mall with my family members. The
items
Use synonyms
 which I bought were some clothes which cost $2000. Not only
does
Verb problem
were
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 clothes
were
Verb problem
apply
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at
discount
Add an article
a discount
the discount
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 rate, but it
also
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 of good quality.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
, I feel dissatisfaction about the error for
items
Use synonyms
 which were not bought by me.
Moreover
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, I will request you to do something about it and return my excess amount.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 would contribute
get
Wrong verb form
to getting
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 good feedback about the mall and the
items
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.
Whereas
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the current situation has proven problematic, the proposed solution may lead to improved outcomes. I would appreciate it if you could look into
tjis
Correct your spelling
this
 matter at your earliest convenience. Please let me know if any
further
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 details are required. Yours faithfully, Adam

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain each point in separate paragraphs.
Task Response
Check your grammar and spelling to improve clarity.
Task Response
Use formal language consistently throughout the letter.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the issue and asked for a solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
You included a polite closing which is important in formal letters.
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