IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays many business meetings and training are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages in this matter ?

#business #meetings #offices #matter
In the present generation majority of the business meeting and
training
Add a comma
,training
show examples
 sections are conducting through
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and not directly.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 the pros definitely outweigh the cons in
this
 situation the following I intend to divulge my statements. Nowadays by using the technological developments in the business sector it is helpful in saving
time
.
furthermore
,having industrial meets and training sections
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online can save lots of
time
 by not travelling to the
office
,people can work on
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 international clients by sitting
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home no matter the
time
 frame.Learning from the superior officers will be very easy as it can be done on video conference,where be can talk to many
office
 staff at once.
For instance
,if there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 official meeting with foreign delegates rather than visiting the country he can discuss his needs from the place where he lives without wasting the
time
 on travelling. ,
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
this
 can save lots of expenditure to the company in some ways.people can work from their houses attend meetings as well as training
consequently
,the use of
office
 building and sources from the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 will be gradually decreased.
moreover
 the total staff should be provided with travelling facilities from home to the
office
 zone.Which can be deduced by the use of online sources.
On the other hand
,having direct contact with the senior officers and learning from them in person is useful for the communication skills of the beginners,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is not possible if the official meets and training classes are held on
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 networking system.
For example
,if a young person talks to his boss directly that would create confidence in his communicating skills. To conclude,conducting the meeting and training by using the technology has many benefits and can use the
time
 and money wisely,but it
also
 has some minor defects that can be managed.
Submitted by chinnublaster99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: