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Band 5

Many countries now have people from different cultures and ethnic groups. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #cultures #groups #reason #development
Immigration has led to a number of
people
 relocate globally.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the
people
 relocate, especially to a developed
country
 for a better standard of living.
i
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I
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 personally believe
this
 is a helpful development
where
Correct your spelling
wherein
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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people
 from many underdeveloped or developing nations get an opportunity for a better future.
Firstly
, Since the population on Earth is not evenly distributed, globalisation helps to eradicate
global
Add an article
the global
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 shortage of manpower requirements and proper utilisation of resources in many countries.
For example
, countries like Canada have inadequate manpower compared to the area of the
country
.
On the other hand
, A
country
 like Pakistan, have surplus manpower but lack adequate jobs and
also
 the
country
 finds it difficult to provide better services due to overpopulation.
Moreover
, Immigration leads to diversity in the
country
.
People
 from various
relegions
Correct your spelling
religions
religious
,
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ethnic
show examples
ethic
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ethnic
show examples
 groups and cultures can develop an understanding about each other's tradition.
This
 will ultimately bring global peace and unity
among
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to
show examples
 society.
For Instance
,
India
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in India
show examples
,
people
 celebrate all festivals from different
relegious
Correct your spelling
religious
 groups,
this
 has helped
people
 learn about each
others
Change to a genitive case
other's
show examples
 traditions and increased the unity among them. In conclusion, I believe that globalisation is more beneficial in order to balance the overpopulation crisis and promote unity among
people
.
Submitted by roshan.rebello22 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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