IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

#immigration #impact #society #consequences
These days, immigration has been a remarkable issue bringing a large
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of negative effects on the community in general. There are 2 prime causes leading to unstable society all over the world and I will explain them below. It is an undeniable fact that sudden changes in the population of a nation
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
show examples
 by government policies that are deemed useless and ineffective to meet
people
's needs.
For example
, in the 20th century, a considerable flow of citizens in East Germany who were controlled by unnecessary strict rules of the government secretly move to West Germany at night and a lot of them were killed. The fundamental right of human beings
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 to pursue a satisfying life and happiness, as a matter of fact, that enormous immigration occurring is obvious. Another explanation for
this
 negative problem is the desire to reach farfetched life targets
such
 as prosperity or luxurious life in another country,
for instance
, it was an obsession of USA President Donald Trump who was attempting to build the wall to halt the flow of immigrated
people
 from Mexico.
This
 alarming fact leads to some unexpected consequences accumulating the upward trend in the number of social crimes. Studies have indicated that 20% of crimes in the USA originating from illegal immigration activities that widen the entrance for uneducated
people
 and dangerous crimes.
As a result
, it will spoil the safety of other true citizens and make society an untrustworthy place.
Moreover
, with the lack of
qualified
Correct article usage
a qualified
show examples
 workforce, the strength of the economy is threatened and
people
 must pay high-end taxes to recover. Overall, the disadvantages of exodus far outweigh the benefits and are actually a nightmare with any host country. In conclusion, there are a lot of plausible explanations making
this
 problem more clearly and its results are completely negative. In the foreseeable future, I confidently believe we can address
this
 problem and even take advantage of it.
Submitted by lamnguyenphuc03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
What to do next:
Look at other essays: