some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success while others think it is not the only thing which contributes to financial success. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #work #success

A decent amount of individuals are of the opinion that hard work guarantees financial benefit, while others believe that it is not the only thing that helps in achieving

this

goal.

This

essay agrees that with hard work comes financial stability,,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

it is not the only thing contributing to

this

First

, it is clear that being a hard worker usually brings decent capital. A person, who dedicates himself entirely to the craft that he is doing, will be more successful rather than a person who awaits success falling at him from the sky. A famous entrepreneur Jack Ma is a prime example of

this

. On his path to ,

fortune

Add an article

the fortune

a fortune

show examples

he struggled to find at least one decent job,

however

after years of ,

struggle

Add an article

a struggle

the struggle

show examples

finally

managed to become one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world with a net worth of $51 billion.

Nonetheless

, having years of backbreaking labour doesn’t always guarantee success. There are a plethora of other factors accompanying

this

for instance

, children of famous businessmen or famous celebrities achieved

this

with zero effort. Kardashian-Jenner family is a perfect example of

this

. Being the children of famous influential people has helped them achieve popularity and wealth without striving for it. It is

therefore

agreed that struggle doesn’t usually guarantee success,

on the contrary

, there are many other aspects to it. In conclusion, while many people know that hard work doesn’t guarantee financial independence, some still believe that in order to achieve something in your life, you have to put a lot of effort into it.

However

, there are many examples of individuals who didn’t go through the dogs and the quicksand on their path to victory.

Submitted by magamassimov on Wed Aug 11 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success while others think it is not the only thing which contributes to financial success. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Your opinion

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Today,some people do not know their neighbours in large cities.What problems does this cause?What can be done about this?

Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places.

Restoration of old buildings in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some educationalist argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance To what extent do you agree or disagree