the increase in the production of consumer goods (food, clothing) results in damage to the natural environment. What is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Nowadays, it is noticeable that the surge in the production of consumer goods may be harmful to our planet.
This
essay argues that this
phenomenon is caused by a marketing strategy from the manufacturers and suggests that the set up of taxes may be the best solution.
It is conspicuous that our modern society showcases an ever-increase in the consumption of diverse products including clothing and all sorts of food.This
is because companies who lead these sectors use strong marketing strategies in order to attract buyers.Indeed, people tend to acquire things that are often useless, just because they saw a fancy advertisement.Pushing the public to buy everything even if he doesn't need it is ineluctably the engine of many famous firms.For example
, it is mundane to witness youngsters who change every
year their mobile phone, out Correct determiner usage
apply
of
practical reasons, just to get a brand new one.
Change preposition
for
However
, solutions exist to overcome this
hurdle.In this
matter, it is suggested that government
may set up taxes on unnecessary commodities aiming to limit their over-consumption.In fact, people, especially young citizens , tend to buy a lot Correct article usage
the government
due to
a lack of pragmatism.In this
regard,skyrocketing the price of this
type of merchandise may deter every compulsive purchase. the implementation of a new policy by officials is undoubtedly consequential in protecting our environment.For instance
, the increase in the price of tobacco in Morocco induced a wide range of smokers to stop smoking and in that way, consuming an unnecessary product.
In conclusion, the hype established by huge companies in order to boost their sales is the prime cause of this
over-consumption among
our society. Even though, it can be solved through governmental policy Change preposition
in
such
as taxes.Submitted by namoisma on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, ensuring that transitions are smooth and logical.
task achievement
For a higher task achievement score, expand on the proposed solutions to make them more comprehensive, detailed, and pragmatic.
task achievement
Clarify the cause further by providing additional examples or data to strengthen the argument about marketing strategies leading to over-consumption.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a well-defined introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the problem and solution.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, such as the reference to mobile phone changes and tobacco pricing in Morocco, effectively supports the main points.
complete response
The essay addresses the task effectively, covering both the causes and potential solutions to over-consumption-induced environmental damage.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite