Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Whether
freedom
of choice should be allowed to
children
or not is a highly controversial topic in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Some section of the society believes that if
children
are given liberty in taking
decision
regarding the day-to-day activities it is possible that they will centralize themselves, while others are of the belief that it is significant to give
children
the privilege to take their own
decision
. I opine with the latter view. On one hand, some people think that if a child is given excessive
freedom
to choose about everyday matters, it is likely that it will result in individualism. It is true that if
children
are not guided at an early age about the matters like what to eat or what to wear and which shows to watch
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
they will have a negative impact on their personality and he or she will become selfish and will not think about the consequences resulting out of the act performed by them.
As a result
, they will grow up to be a
self centric
Add a hyphen
self-centric
show examples
person.
For instance
, In the western countries parents allow their
children
to take own decisions and don't guide them,
hence
,
children
tend to not obey and they do not think about other's opinion.
On the other hand
, many people believe that
children
should be given
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to choose and act. It is necessary for the parents to allow their
children
to take
Add an article
a decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
after a certain age as it will make them think out of the box and make them feel confident in their life.
For example
, if parents have exercised reasonable control on the child at their developmental stage
then
they will possess important leadership skills like
decision
making. To conclude, though
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of the people think that
children
should be kept in control and not allowed to take
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
I believe that as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
they should have the
freedom
of choice and at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
they should be under the supervision of their guardians.
Submitted by rathodshreya2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: