IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#overpopulation #world
It is frequently argued that the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 population could lead to several environmental problems. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will try to give some examples and
then
 I will explain why I strongly agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overpopulation is one of the most relevant
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 for the Earth due to the fact that we have limited resources and there is not enough food for everyone.
Moreover
, for the people who live in remote areas, for
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
 in some villages in Africa, is more difficult to find food or clean water and the rate of naissance is around fivefold than the European data, in fact ,each family has more than 4
Correct your spelling
child
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 and
this
 can lead to the lacking of resources as a consequence of migration to developed countries.
Although
 we live in a place where we can find whatever we want, it is important to understand that in some places around the world the overpopulation is causing problems like malnutrition and
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
unhealty
Correct article usage
an unhealty
show examples
 diet due to the lack of food.For
this
 reason, the European countries have to provide free meals to the people who need them because It is a
globally
Change the adverb
global
show examples
 problem even if it is
focus
Add an article
the focus
a focus
show examples
 in some remote areas. In conclusion, I think that the steady but significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 population can lead to several problems due to the fact that we have not enough resources for everyone
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 it is important to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the problem and to find some solutions, one of them can be going to another planet in the middle of the space.
Submitted by edogiova01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exacerbating
  • finite resources
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable consumption
  • habitat loss
  • family planning
  • renewable energy
  • technological advancements
  • resource management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: