IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#minutes #gym #neighbourhood #manager #membership #prices #activities #procedure #addresses #sir #madam
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in regard to know more about the new
gym
 that recently opened close to my house. I
was
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 planning to start working out
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a few weeks and it is good
know
Add the particle
to know
show examples
 about the
gym
 being
close
Replace the word
closed
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.
Although
, I would like to get some details about the types of membership you provide and their rates as well. It has been a long time since I exercised,
hence
 I would prefer a membership for less than 6 months.
Secondly
, what all kinds of
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and
gym
 activities are included for members?
This
 is something that I look forward to, because I did not have a pleasing experience at the
last
gym
 I went to.
Lastly
, I would be interested
for
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 some trial sessions at the
gym
,
this
 week. It would be even better if I could get some guidance regarding the joining procedure. Thank you for reading
this
 letter and I look forward to your from you. Yours Faithfully, Lavin.
Submitted by lavinramnani8 on

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grammar
Consider reviewing the placement of the word 'know' in the second sentence of the first paragraph. Correct phrasing could be, 'I am writing to inquire about the new gym that recently opened near my house.'
coherence
Remove the word 'Although' at the beginning of the second paragraph, as it implies a contrast that isn't present in the text.
task achievement
Incorporate specific questions or requests for information regarding the activities such as yoga classes, personal training, etc., to enhance task achievement if possible.
greeting and closing
The letter has a clear structure with a friendly greeting and an appropriate closing.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, which contributes to the overall coherence and makes it easier to follow the writer’s train of thought.
suitable writing tone
The overall tone is polite and appropriately formal.
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