Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

In recent years, the trend has been changed towards

competition

between people. A section of

society

that thought the

competition

children

is a positive thing and need to uplift their spirit.

Although

others

argue that the negative overweight the positive and teach them to cooperate with each other. It is more positive for the long term perspective to our

society

when they reach teenage. I partially agree with

this

statement and thought that both are important for

society

, in the course of the essay, I will discuss both viewpoints.

First

of all,

competition

is important for human

society

and fast progress. If over

children

do not learn how to compete with each other

then

at a younger age, they are not motivated to achieve anything and these

children

are future leaders if they do not have the ability to compete with other nations and

others

will dominate on them.

For instance

, if

competition

does not have importance

then

in the education system we do not need exams, because the exam is a thing that motivates to

children

to get good position on other, But only

competition

is not enough for

generations The negative side of

this

race of

competition

is that our future generations will forget our moral values and they totally rely on war thought. In the race, only one person will win

this

race if

children

only learn how to get success and not support

others

if one day they lose

then

he never gets up again. our

society

survives based on moral values, we need to teach our

children

how to compete with

others

and how to help

others

. In conclusion,

competition

is a basic need to teach

children

but it is not everything which needs it and we

also

cooperate with

others

although

these both are necessary for bright future.

Submitted by mhassam7576 on Thu Aug 12 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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