Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

There are some

people

considering that competitive events should not be held

Change preposition

show examples

young

age

However

, It is thought that adults should teach cooperation rather than giving a chance

children

competing

someone

. I would believe that both of these skills are needed in the

society

in adult

age

However

, I would consider that cooperation with other

people

is more important in real life.

To begin

, There are some adults

think

Correct pronoun usage

who think

show examples

that

Children

should be taught how to be competitive against other

children

This ideas

Change the determiner

This idea

These ideas

show examples

are considered to give benefits to

children

For example

, most

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apply

show examples

people

Add an article

the people

show examples

in the world live in

Correct article usage

a capitalism

show examples

capitalism

Replace the word

capitalist

show examples

society

in which companies always have to beat other companies to survive so that they can make benefits as well as it is possible to keep running the

business

This

is how

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

works nowadays.

Therefore

, encountering competitions at

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age

will help youth

people

learn ways of surviving and fighting against

someone

in the future in a market.

On the other hand

, some

people

argue that knowing how to cooperate with

someone

is more important than just trying to beat other kids and it is more worth gaining the skill that can be used in

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

their future. As I mentioned above,

for instance

, they need to live and fight competitively.

However

, a

business

is run by a lot of workers unless you have an individual company. Many

people

gather

one

Change preposition

in one

show examples

place to cooperate

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other for

creativities

Fix the agreement mistake

creativity

show examples

, which

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apply

show examples

cooperation is significantly needed in the office. If

someone

is not helpful or not keen to support other co-workers, the

business

does not go

proper

Correct article usage

the proper

show examples

way, which will result in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

unemployment eventually.

Thus

, even though we need to beat other companies, we are still required to have

supportive

Add an article

a supportive

the supportive

show examples

mind for other co-workers to keep running the

business

correctly. To conclude, In spite of living in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

capitalism

Replace the word

capitalist

show examples

society

which requires us to be competitive in a market, we all need to be supportive

for

Change preposition

show examples

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

Correct your spelling

Therefore

show examples

Therefor

Correct your spelling

Therefore

show examples

, we should be taught how to be supportive and help

someone

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age

Submitted by mhassam7576 on Thu Aug 12 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as everyday basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. TO what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Should high school students be required to study many different subjects at the same time, or should they study only three or four subjects at a time? Do you agree or disagree?