Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices, like smartphones, tablets and laptop computers. Do the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

It is argued, as the technology and internet developed rapidly technology devices
such
as smartphones and computers become more universal and can easily provide a lot of entertainment like games and
movies
are providing benefits to the user. In my opinion,
this
development has more drawbacks than advantages. There are several reasons to support my point of view.
First
of all, it can cause users physical issues
such
as back pain, dry eyes and headache because
people
use them to watch videos constantly.
For example
, there is a great number of reports to shows that because
people
use their smartphones watching videos frequently
thus
lead
them
Correct pronoun usage
they

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to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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have dry eyes or even worst consequences.
Moreover
, it can be extremely harmful activities for young
people
, because it not only just cause physical issues
also
can lead children to have
Add an article
a

The noun phrase mental problem seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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mental problem if they overuse those kinds of devices.
For instance
, in many countries, the parents and the government are suffering at how to fix the problems of young
people
addicted to computer online games and
also
the children could not leave their smartphones.
On the other hand
, it brings extra entertainment and convenience to our life and easy to kill time by playing games or watching
movies
.
For example
, you could easily access a game and play it on your smartphone while you are waiting for your friend.
In addition
, it is more convenient compared to the old days we have to enter the cinema to watching
movies
because we could watch
movies
on our technology devices whenever we want. In conclusion,
this
development might brings convenience to our daily life.
However
, we can not ignore the harmful effects
such
as physical and mental problems that bring by
this
development to us.
Therefore
, I believe that its' drawbacks are outweighed the advantages.
Submitted by fankie.cecil on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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