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Band 4

In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard for their study. What do you think the causes and what solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #study
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades,
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
 burden has been increased on the youngsters. They
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not much
time
 to relax. Resultant,
anxity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
 is increasing among them due to
study
 pressure. In
this
 essay, I would discuss
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 cause of
study
 load and
solution
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the solution
show examples
.
This
 is the era of
compitition
Correct your spelling
competition
, young students have
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of pressure to achieve maximum marks from their
school
 and parents. Parents and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 think if they
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
achieved
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 academic
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
then
 only they have a chance to get admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 university and
school
 according to their interest of field. To get
desire
Correct article usage
the desire
show examples
 score, they
strech
Correct your spelling
stretch
study
time
.
First
, It is
mandantory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 to attend the class to get the minimum attendance in the
school
. After
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
, they go for coaching
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
. They spend most of their
time
to complete
Change the verb form
completing
show examples
 the
Correct your spelling
homework
show examples
home work
Correct your spelling
homework
show examples
 of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 and extra classes. They have not much remaining to spend on themselves.
This
 cause create stress among them I would like to suggest that
Correct article usage
the eduction
show examples
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 of
school
 should be improved so that there is no need to take extra classes. I prefer coaching class should
be allow
Change the verb form
be allowed
show examples
 after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
. Parents should support the idea and they should stop putting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure on
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. They should help and
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
show examples
 so that young students can spend gala
time
 in sports,
releative
Correct your spelling
relative
relatives
 and friends.
This
 would help to grow in
decent
Correct article usage
a decent
show examples
 personality. In the end, I conclude that hard work in
study
 is mandatory to get
desire
Correct article usage
the desire
show examples
 university and institution.
On
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same
time
, physical and mental
fittness
Correct your spelling
fitness
 must be
deveopled
Correct your spelling
developed
 with balance. Good learner students with strong mental and physical personalities make
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 nation.
Submitted by Gurmit on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Leisure time
  • Pressure
  • Study
  • Competitive
  • Education system
  • High expectations
  • Parents
  • Society
  • Financial pressure
  • Flexible
  • School schedules
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental health support
What to do next:
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