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Writing Samples
Band 6

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drivers for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern work place. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

#promotion #drivers #people #work #place #factors #influence
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Promotion from industry is one the major reason why
people
work
 harder in the offices. The main reason is that they want to be the boss and control others.
However
, another factor to fuel
people
 might be because they want an increment in their
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
.
To begin
 with,many
people
work
 harder at the company to get promoted in
order
 for them to become the boss .
This
 is major because working extra than other
people
 at the office,and smarter is the way to become the boss .
for instance
, many studies have shown that a higher percentage of
people
work
 more in
order
 for them to assume the position of the head .
Therefore
, most
people
 decide to
work
 more than other colleagues just for them to be promoted at
work
 .
On the other hand
 ,another factor that influences
people
 to
work
 harder is because they want an increment in their salary.
This
 is because working more than other
people
 from the office led to doing extra hours of
work
 ,which add additional income to the basic salary. Many studies have shown that
people
 that do extra hours at
work
 earn more, and
this
 is the major reason why most
people
work
 harder in
order
 to get extra payments.Another point to consider has the factor that influences
people
 to
work
 hard maybe because the company belong to their family members, with
this
 many
people
 will
work
 more for them to protect the family lineage
work
 . In conclusion, in
order
 for
people
 to become the head of the company is major fuel that drives
people
 to
work
 harder at
work
 ,
although
 it might
also
because
Add a missing verb
be because
show examples
 they want an increment in their salary.
Submitted by temitope.sabitu on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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