IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
Taking a gap
year
 after high
school
 education is very common in some countries. Opponents of
this
 notion claim out about some repercussions and negative aspects of travelling and working right after
school
 study. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the merits and demerits of the statement and will explain both views with examples. On the one hand, taking a
year
 to travel or
work
 can be a difficult decision for many
students
. There are several drawbacks of not attending university after
school
 graduation.
Firstly
, during the travelling period. the laziness of
students
 enhances, thereby increasing unwillingness to learn after.
Secondly
,
students
 may not only get lost during their journey but
also
 get injured or sick.
Lastly
, undergraduates who decided to go to
work
 and are not qualified enough cannot expect high positions. These situations may contribute to the loss of confidence and ambitions among scholars. The research shows the growing number of
students
 who have to
work
 but cannot be hired by companies due to the lack of knowledge.
On the other hand
, a gap
year
 providers many advantages which overweight the disadvantages. Choosing to
work
 after high
school
 study increases people's
work
 experience and
work
 relationships. If an undergraduate represents himself as an excellent worker with a desire to achieve the organization's goals, he will be able to get investments from the companies for his future education. In fact, it is a common practice when part of the budget of multi-million firms is funded for educational purposes in order to provide the future of the company with demand workers. Compared to
work
, going to travel is
also
 have benefits. Many people are aware that travel broadens our minds through meeting new people, cultures and traditions, and finding new interests. As an example, the BBC writer has realised a book about his experience of travelling all around the world before starting university study. He depicts the importance of
this
 choice and how the new culture opened his eyes to positive thinking and creativity. In conclusion, some nations can point out the disadvantages of taking a gap
year
 after
school
,
however
, there are more benefits of taking it than not.
Submitted by nasyrova.1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: