Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them What are the problems related to? What are some possible solutions?

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There are a lot of young people taking
care
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of their older generations who lack
time
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for self-
care
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.
This
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author believes that if
this
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circumstance continues in the next few months, it will negatively affect the youth in
time
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management and mental health. On the one hand, it is vital to acknowledge that most elderly
care
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people are losing their
work
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-life balance. In the state-of-the-art,
although
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there are lots of inventions that help
care
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for old residents, young guys still have to spend a large amount of
time
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of a day on it. Thereby, the challenge of balancing lifetime and working
time
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is increasingly difficult. That leads to a lack of commitments and necessary activities
such
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as relaxing and exercising.
On the other hand
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, in terms of the psycho, spending hours looking after others
instead
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of ourselves is extremely harmful. At the moment,
instead
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of
concentrate
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concentrating
show examples
on self-
work
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merely, which is enough stressful for individuals, we will not only focus on it but
also
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keep track of the elderly.
Therefore
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, despite our worse stress, we will not have
time
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to relax and reduce stress, which damages our brains seriously.
Nevertheless
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, these problems are not for valuable for us to worry about since we have two solutions that seem to be the best treatment to deal with these situations. These are flexible working arrangements and family responsibility sharing. Considering scientific studies and consequence surveys, it can be seen that managing our
work
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to fit in with our life to remain balanced is for effective treatment for them as we can
work
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at home to
work
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and older
care
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at the same
time
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.
However
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, it is only suitable for some special jobs
such
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as IT, programming and freelancer.
Therefore
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, sharing our responsibility with other members of my family is almost the utmost effective way to cope with it.
To conclude
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, there are some drawbacks leading to uncontrollable
time
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management and mental harm caused by young generations spending their
time
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caring for older ones
instead
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of themselves. Yet, they can be treated by
work
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management and
also
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responsibility sharing, which are the most effective treatments.

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task achievement
While the essay effectively addresses the topic, it can benefit from clearer and more specific examples to support the main points. Try to use real-life scenarios or statistics to make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas, but at times the argumentation is not fully developed. Make sure to elaborate on each point for better clarity and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Overall structure is logical, but some transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be more fluid. Try using cohesive devices more effectively to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are presented well, but the introduction could better frame the issue and the conclusion could reinforce the proposed solutions more strongly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion help in framing and summarizing the essay effectively.
task achievement
The topic is comprehensively covered, addressing both the problems and the solutions adequately.
task achievement
The essay does well to explain the impacts on mental health and work-life balance, which are very relevant points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • neglect
  • emotional distress
  • social interaction
  • mental stimulation
  • financial costs
  • community care services
  • respite care
  • telehealth services
  • flexible work arrangements
  • caregiver leave policies
  • support networks
  • emotional support
  • monitoring systems
  • training programs
  • interpersonal strain
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