Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them What are the problems related to? What are some possible solutions?
There are a lot of young people taking
care
of their older generations who lack time
for self-care
. This
author believes that if this
circumstance continues in the next few months, it will negatively affect the youth in time
management and mental health.
On the one hand, it is vital to acknowledge that most elderly care
people are losing their work
-life balance. In the state-of-the-art, although
there are lots of inventions that help care
for old residents, young guys still have to spend a large amount of time
of a day on it. Thereby, the challenge of balancing lifetime and working time
is increasingly difficult. That leads to a lack of commitments and necessary activities such
as relaxing and exercising.
On the other hand
, in terms of the psycho, spending hours looking after others instead
of ourselves is extremely harmful. At the moment, instead
of concentrate
on self-Change the verb form
concentrating
work
merely, which is enough stressful for individuals, we will not only focus on it but also
keep track of the elderly. Therefore
, despite our worse stress, we will not have time
to relax and reduce stress, which damages our brains seriously.
Nevertheless
, these problems are not for valuable for us to worry about since we have two solutions that seem to be the best treatment to deal with these situations. These are flexible working arrangements and family responsibility sharing. Considering scientific studies and consequence surveys, it can be seen that managing our work
to fit in with our life to remain balanced is for effective treatment for them as we can work
at home to work
and older care
at the same time
. However
, it is only suitable for some special jobs such
as IT, programming and freelancer. Therefore
, sharing our responsibility with other members of my family is almost the utmost effective way to cope with it.
To conclude
, there are some drawbacks leading to uncontrollable time
management and mental harm caused by young generations spending their time
caring for older ones instead
of themselves. Yet, they can be treated by work
management and also
responsibility sharing, which are the most effective treatments.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the essay effectively addresses the topic, it can benefit from clearer and more specific examples to support the main points. Try to use real-life scenarios or statistics to make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas, but at times the argumentation is not fully developed. Make sure to elaborate on each point for better clarity and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Overall structure is logical, but some transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be more fluid. Try using cohesive devices more effectively to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are presented well, but the introduction could better frame the issue and the conclusion could reinforce the proposed solutions more strongly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion help in framing and summarizing the essay effectively.
task achievement
The topic is comprehensively covered, addressing both the problems and the solutions adequately.
task achievement
The essay does well to explain the impacts on mental health and work-life balance, which are very relevant points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.