IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals believe raising the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes is the most effective method of increasing road safety. While I accept that
this
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 policy is acceptable to some extent, I believe it is not the best because there are much better measures to reduce
traffic
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accidents
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. It might be a good idea to increase the minimum age required for driving because of some reason.
Firstly
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, since younger
people
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 are usually less mature and less responsible with their manners, they might not be aware of the importance of following the rules.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable to ban them from travelling on the street to prevent them from breaking the law and causing
accidents
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.
Secondly
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, as older
people
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 are more experienced, they can know how to react quickly to handle dangerous situations on the road, while younger ones might be unsure. To illustrate, if the brakes of a car suddenly stop working, a young driver might panic, and
accidents
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 are more likely to occur.
However
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, I would argue that there are much better methods of ensuring road safety. The
first
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 one is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders.
For example
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,
people
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 who break
traffic
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 rules should be required to pay huge fines or be banned permanently from commuting on the street.
This
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 makes commuters more likely to respect the law, and
traffic
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accidents
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 can be limited. Another solution is to encourage
people
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 to use public transport rather than private vehicles.
This
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 can be done by reducing the price and increasing the frequency of buses and tubes to make it more convenient for users.
Furthermore
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, education about
traffic
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 safety should be provided to the public. So that they can have a higher awareness towards driving. In conclusion, I believe that apart from increasing the legal age for driving, there are more effective ways to make sure that travelling on the street is safe for everyone.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • increase road safety
  • maturity
  • rash decision-making
  • cognitive functions
  • risky behavior
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • core issues
  • proper training
  • adherence to traffic rules
  • road conditions
  • vehicle maintenance
  • stricter driving tests
  • enhancing road safety
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