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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
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Punishment must be made according to the extent of an act.
One
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 must be given an extreme and ruthless trial if the crime is irrevocable. offenders often tend to divert from the right path when released from custody. Authorities need to be vigilant enough to differentiate between degrees of crimes, in order to punish
accordingly
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. Despite having suffered for their crime, culprits involve themselves in new offences.
This
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 is a consequence of not having punished, either the right person or not punishing enough at all. If we penalize an innocent person, it is most definite that he will become a criminal after being released.
One
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 needs to have a good judicial structure to ensure
this
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 does not happen.
Secondly
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, our judicial
system
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 needs to be sure of the extent of crimes. If
one
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 person has raped a kid and
one
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 has stolen something from a jewellery shop, they can't be punished equally.
Moreover
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, it all comes to the point that our
system
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 needs to ensure that criminals of great offence are not been given less degree punishment at all or they will become greater criminals once they are out again. To ensure
this
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 we need to derive new laws and customs. I believe that the above-mentioned techniques will ensure that punishments are made according to
one
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 wrong-doings.
This
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 will automatically lead to offenders doing fewer crimes in future because they will be afraid of the
system
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 itself. We can only eliminate crime from a
system
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 by making our law and judiciary stronger.
Submitted by mahamshahid457 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
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