Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
day and age, down to the blessing of contemporary medical science, human beings can live in
this
world for a longer period compared to the past.
Consequently
, the
number
of senior citizens would be larger than the
number
of youngsters
has come
Verb problem
,
show examples
along with
a
number
of upsides,
together with
downsides.
However
, I wholeheartedly deem that having a large
number
of old
people
is more of a blow on the grounds that a
country
has to spend more money
for taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
care of them, and with a low
number
of workforces, it is next to impossible to complete in the ferocious global market. One of the predominant disadvantages of having a huge
number
of elderly
people
is that the government of a state needs to spend money on different facilities, especially, dedicated for them,
such
as building old age homes,
providing
Correct word choice
and providing
show examples
special incentives for medical treatments, to name but a few.
As a consequence
, that
country
will face a shortage of funds for investing in more pressing social issues, namely, education, health, security, and
suchlike
Correct your spelling
the like
show examples
, causing discontent among the public. To cite an example, in South Africa, the social benefit amount for the advanced age
people
is higher than the benefit amount for the unemployed
people
, resulting in the increasing
number
of violent activities.
Therefore
, the higher the
number
of elderly
people
, the higher will be
governments’
Change noun form
government’s
show examples
investment in the unproductive field, engendering many social issues. Another decisive downside of having a low
number
of young
people
is that a nation cannot compete in the dog-eat-dog world with these human resources.
In other words
, if a
country
has a large
number
of adolescents, it is possible to boost the economy by applying their state-of-the-art knowledge, expertise,
skills
Correct word choice
and skills
show examples
, to mention but a few, leading a
country
to become a developed and independent state.
On the contrary
, with a large
number
of unproductive elderly
people
, it is not possible to develop new things and compete with other countries. To exemplify, China has become the leader of all other states only because of productive juveniles. In conclusion, having a large
number
of elderly
people
indubitably results in numerous drawbacks.
Hence
, from my point of view, the edges, if there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
any, are far outweighed by the downsides.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

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task achievement
To enhance the task response, elaborate more on the advantages of an ageing population, providing a balanced view with examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically connects back to the main argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the argument and position taken in the essay, making the reader aware of what to expect.
relevant specific examples
Examples are relevant to the arguments made and help illustrate the points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • longevity
  • geriatric population
  • intergenerational
  • volunteering
  • medical advancements
  • economic contribution
  • cultural perspective
  • healthcare expenditures
  • age-friendly
  • ageism
  • public policies
  • demographic shifts
  • economic stability
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