Some people think that young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People
argue that
people
under 18 years old should have full-
time
education
. I completely agree with the idea because full-
time
education
helps
children
to cultivate
skills
, acquire professional
knowledge
, and so on. There are several reasons why full-
time
education
is beneficial to
children
, especially when they are educated in
school
.
First
and foremost, young
people
can have more chances to cultivate interpersonal
skills
in
school
. When
children
are divided into different classes according to their age, they have the opportunity to socialize with their peers.
For example
, they need to participate
teamwork
Change preposition
in teamwork
show examples
with their partners and they are easier to make friends at
school
. Under
such
circumstances, they will learn how to collaborate, how to compete, and how to compromise with each other, which helps them adapt themselves to social life when they grow up. By,contrast, part-
time
students
work and study at the same
time
, they have little
time
to participate in social activities with their classmates except in class
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they lack the ability to communicate
Besides
, since the young generations are devoid of competence to distinguish the right and the evil, they had better receive
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
education
. In
this
way, teachers can supervise their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and teach them how to know
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right from wrong.
However
, part-
time
students
have a short
time
in
school
, so teachers will focus on imparting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge
, so they are inclined to imitate the evil indiscriminately from adults. What’s more,
children
can acquire professional
knowledge
rather than fragmented information when they have full-
time
education
in
school
. Teachers impart systematic and specialized academic
knowledge
in
school
, so
students
can have a better command of these
skills
and
knowledge
, which lays a solid foundation for
further
study and
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
. Part-
time
students
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
easy to be interrupted during
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
when their work needs to be dealt with urgently.
As a result
,
students
will learn fragmented
knowledge
, which will make them have bad performance in the workplace. As a consequence, they tend to be phased out in the long run.
Thus
, they will be, underappreciated and underprivileged, which will make them revenge the society to express their resentments and dissatisfaction. In conclusion, my view is that young
people
who are under 18 years old should have a full-
time
education
, which will help them cultivate interpersonal
skills
and learn more professional
knowledge
.
Submitted by 20429517 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: