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Band 5.5

Billions of dollars are being wasted each year on space research. The money could be better used to improve conditions on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#billions #dollars #year #space #research #money #conditions #earth
Currently, it is inevitable fact that
space
exploration
 has been a topic of majority scientific researches to spend
money
 on.
Although
this
 trend is believed by some individuals as beneficial, I strongly opine to
this
 point of view due to a great number of human needs that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 is facing today. To commence with, over recent decades a big part of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
lives
Add a missing verb
has lives
show examples
 in poverty.
In other words
, there are economic issues in most developing
countries
 on account of low financial
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. If developed governments give financial aid to those areas
instead
 of wasting
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
exploration
, almost all people will lead in
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
show examples
 of life without starvation or impoverishment. To exemplify, according to UNICEF 22,000 children die every day in virtue of lack of food and serious diseases.
Therefore
, dominant
countries
 should assist to save individuals who are suffering from famine in lieu of investing a huge amount of
money
 for likely researches on
space
.
Furthermore
, in place of spending
fortune
Add an article
a fortune
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 possible discoveries, it would be more valuable to uncover our own planet.
In particular
, there is still unknown facts regarding Earth
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are not
fully
Add a missing verb
been fully
show examples
 found out yet. As a case in point, scientists have very little knowledge of oceans and only 5 % of them has been explored till today. Should oceans be focused on a lot by wealthier
countries
, they will access incredible opportunities to human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 by means of providing
sea foods
Correct your spelling
seafoods
show examples
 or natural resources which are insufficient nowadays.
Thus
,
space
exploration
 should not be
priority
Add an article
a priority
the priority
show examples
 of scientific researches for investing
money
,
instead
, uncover of the rest of our planet might be more effective. To recapitulate briefly,
although
 there has been argued that spending
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
exploration
 would be gainful, I absolutely disagree with that view as there are a great number of crucial matters which
countries
 should deal with so as to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 human needs.
Submitted by Mirshod on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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