In some countries, governments are encouraging to people and factories move out in rural areas due to housing and transport issues. Discuss both views and give your personal example.

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It is certainly true that in some parts of the world, authorities are inspiring individuals and industries to move to urban
areas
because of housing and transport-related problems. I have discussed both views and details are given below. The housing crisis is one of the biggest concerns in urban
areas
.
This
is basically
due to
population and shortage of land. Housings are extremely costly and limited availability in the industrial area .
As a result
, workers have to pay more and they can not do much saving. In view of
this
, governments are encouraging
people
and
factories
to shift to rural
areas
. Since the rural area has lower land costs, lesser population and cheaper
cost
of living,
therefore
, housing issues can be easily resolved. By moving to rural
areas
, both public and
factories
get more benefits in terms of
cost
, services, facilities, utilities and accommodation.
For example
, recently one of the Oil and Gas companies in India relocated its employee's township to a rural area in order to avoid a housing crisis and minimize the overhead
cost
of employees.
In addition
, It is
also
obvious that transport issues in urban
areas
are becoming a headache for the corporation.
This
is
due to
more commuters travelling daily for their jobs or other business-related activities.
As a result
, transportation gets too much load and is limited to accommodate a huge workforce. The authorities trying hard but they can not manage with existing resources.
Thus
, the state government is favouring moving
people
and
factories
to rural
areas
, so that transport issues can be resolved and
people
can get easy, comfortable and convenient journeys at cheap
cost
. In conclusion, considering a number of problems in rural
areas
related to housing availability and transportation difficulties, the government promoting
people
and
factories
to move to rural
areas
to manage
people
's needs at lower costs.
Submitted by ahv on

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task achievement
Expand on the discussion of opposing views. You mention encouraging people and factories to move to rural areas but do not thoroughly explore the counter-argument or the negatives of such a move.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your introduction to more explicitly set out the essay's main points. This helps provide a clear roadmap for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow. Use clearer linking words or phrases to ensure smooth progression from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with readability.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided, enhancing the credibility and depth of your arguments.
task achievement
Main points are clearly stated and generally supported with appropriate explanations, reflecting comprehensive ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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