In some countries, governments are encouraging to people and factories move out in rural areas due to housing and transport issues. Discuss both views and give your personal example.

#countries #governments #people #factories #move #areas #transport

It is certainly true that in some parts of the world, authorities are inspiring individuals and industries to move to urban

areas

because of housing and transport-related problems. I have discussed both views and details are given below. The housing crisis is one of the biggest concerns in urban

areas

This

is basically

due to

population and shortage of land. Housings are extremely costly and limited availability in the industrial area .

As a result

, workers have to pay more and they can not do much saving. In view of

this

, governments are encouraging

people

and

factories

to shift to rural

areas

. Since the rural area has lower land costs, lesser population and cheaper

cost

of living,

therefore

, housing issues can be easily resolved. By moving to rural

areas

, both public and

factories

get more benefits in terms of

cost

, services, facilities, utilities and accommodation.

For example

, recently one of the Oil and Gas companies in India relocated its employee's township to a rural area in order to avoid a housing crisis and minimize the overhead

cost

of employees.

In addition

, It is

also

obvious that transport issues in urban

areas

are becoming a headache for the corporation.

This

due to

more commuters travelling daily for their jobs or other business-related activities.

As a result

, transportation gets too much load and is limited to accommodate a huge workforce. The authorities trying hard but they can not manage with existing resources.

Thus

, the state government is favouring moving

people

and

factories

to rural

areas

, so that transport issues can be resolved and

people

can get easy, comfortable and convenient journeys at cheap

cost

. In conclusion, considering a number of problems in rural

areas

related to housing availability and transportation difficulties, the government promoting

people

and

factories

to move to rural

areas

to manage

people

's needs at lower costs.

Submitted by ahv on Sun Jul 07 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the discussion of opposing views. You mention encouraging people and factories to move to rural areas but do not thoroughly explore the counter-argument or the negatives of such a move.

coherence cohesion

Clarify your introduction to more explicitly set out the essay's main points. This helps provide a clear roadmap for the reader.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow. Use clearer linking words or phrases to ensure smooth progression from one point to the next.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with readability.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples are provided, enhancing the credibility and depth of your arguments.

task achievement

Main points are clearly stated and generally supported with appropriate explanations, reflecting comprehensive ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, governments are encouraging to people and factories move out in rural areas due to housing and transport issues. Discuss both views and give your personal example.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say history is one of the most important subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone chould follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact in our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

topics: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree

financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. to what extent do you agree or disagree?