In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#crime #attack #poverty #lack #opportunities #police #street #people #prison

Issues related to diminish

crime

are frequently discussed these days. It is argued that having more police on the street and put offenders into

prison

is not effective

procedures

Fix the agreement mistake

procedure

show examples

. I completely agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that solving the main sources of

crime

such

education

and financial position is vital. The strongest reason to consider is that

education

is an element for individual

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

. Studies about civil rights and justice make people less likely to become robbers in the future. There is no cause to commit a

crime

if they have enough money to provide

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

family.

For instance

, In Singapore, which has

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the best educational systems in the world, the

crime

rate is among the lowest in the world.

Therefore

, learning more about

crime

and punishment, one of the most powerful prevent

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

, is the effective way to lead

education

reduces

crime

In contrast

, some opponents argue that there are benefits

Change preposition

show examples

giving offenders severe sentences. Especially, spending a long time in

prison

provides an opportunity for the

prison

services to rehabilitate a prisoner.

This

view seems plausible, but it fails to consider that leaving people in

prison

for a long time will lead them

learn

Add the particle

to learn

show examples

criminal skills from

other prisoner

Change the wording

another prisoner

other prisoners

show examples

This

will result in

worse

Add an article

a worse

show examples

situation and their character will not improve.

Also

, the government could focus resources on the causes of

crime

. All things considered, I am of the opinion that an efficient

education

suitable

Change the article

a suitable

show examples

reason to prevent

crime

. Yet the government should advocate to provide it.

Submitted by w.walaiphorn on Sat Aug 14 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What do governments do to address these problems? What can individuals do?

Young peiple are often influenced in theri behaviours and situations by others in the same age this is called peer pressure do the disadvantages outwight the advantages

Homeschooling is becoming increasingly popular as more and more parents are choosing to educate their children in this way. why do you think parents might chose homeschooling rather than traditional schools. Do you think homeschooling is more beneficial?