In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Issues related to diminish
crime
are frequently discussed these days. It is argued that having more police on the street and put offenders into
prison
is not effective
procedures
Fix the agreement mistake
procedure
show examples
. I completely agree
with
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apply
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that solving the main sources of
crime
such
as
education
and financial position is vital. The strongest reason to consider is that
education
is an element for individual
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
. Studies about civil rights and justice make people less likely to become robbers in the future. There is no cause to commit a
crime
if they have enough money to provide
their
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for their
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family.
For instance
, In Singapore, which has
the
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apply
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one of the best educational systems in the world, the
crime
rate is among the lowest in the world.
Therefore
, learning more about
crime
and punishment, one of the most powerful prevent
method
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methods
show examples
, is the effective way to lead
education
reduces
crime
.
In contrast
, some opponents argue that there are benefits
of
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to
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giving offenders severe sentences. Especially, spending a long time in
prison
provides an opportunity for the
prison
services to rehabilitate a prisoner.
This
view seems plausible, but it fails to consider that leaving people in
prison
for a long time will lead them
learn
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to learn
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criminal skills from
other prisoner
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another prisoner
other prisoners
show examples
.
This
will result in
worse
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a worse
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situation and their character will not improve.
Also
, the government could focus resources on the causes of
crime
. All things considered, I am of the opinion that an efficient
education
is
suitable
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a suitable
show examples
reason to prevent
crime
. Yet the government should advocate to provide it.
Submitted by w.walaiphorn on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • root causes of crime
  • criminal behavior
  • legitimate economic opportunities
  • enhancing educational opportunities
  • skills and qualifications
  • job prospects
  • economic disparities
  • social programs
  • economic empowerment
  • police presence
  • deter criminal activities
  • underlying issues
  • prison sentences
  • rehabilitate criminals
  • comprehensive rehabilitation programs
  • community-building efforts
  • social services
  • supportive environment
  • discourages criminal behavior
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