The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the current era,

businesses

play an essential role in the lifestyle of people. Some people argue that

companies

are only making money and they are not biased to the social aspects. In the following essay, we will explore viewpoints, and I will mention my perspective. On the one hand, more and more

companies

are interested in salaries and avoiding social responsibilities. To illustrate more, many

employees

suffer from

this

category who push their mental and physical

health

to be demolished.

For example

, my brother who works in a big company, can not obtain a

health

insurance card .

Thus

, young people refuse to join a company and always research about work in government. Obviously, most

companies

would like to face challenges with a variety of

businesses

Therefore

, they pay a lot of money for their machines and

employees

to achieve profits per year. In fact, they do not think of the needs of

employees

. Generally, I remember a study published by AL Watan newspaper in 2010 that said "The employee pushes his/ her efforts to get money from

businesses

Consequently

, the community spends the

health

to boost a good life. In conclusion, I am convinced nations work hard and honestly.

However

, they should adjust some rules of

companies

to survive without

health

dangers.

Moreover

, the country should put strict rules for

businesses

and encourage them to introduce bonuses in the

last

year for active

employees

Submitted by lailakhalil3 on Tue Sep 17 2024

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task achievement

Your essay should provide a more balanced view. While you have discussed companies neglecting social responsibilities, you should also explore counterarguments or instances where businesses have positively impacted society.

coherence cohesion

Your main points should be more explicitly stated and organized to enhance clarity. For instance, the paragraph about companies focusing on profits should specifically relate back to social responsibilities more directly.

task achievement

Use more concrete examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, you mentioned a study but did not provide specifics on how it relates to your argument about social responsibilities.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great for setting the context and closing your essay. This helps in maintaining a coherent structure throughout your writing.

coherence cohesion

Your language is quite appropriate, and you make an effort to connect ideas logically within paragraphs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

profit maximization
economic development
Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
shareholders
moral obligation
reputation
customer loyalty
sustainable business models
accountability
ethical practices
regulations
consumer expectations
economic sustainability
stakeholders
social impact

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The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

In many countries, truancy* is a worrying issue for both parents and educators. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

most employers do job interview before offering a position to a person. do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? what is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?