IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Space exploration is a costly project. The money would be much better spent on reducing social problems. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Presently, many countries have become more attention to
space
Use synonyms
 exploration than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past.
However
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,
the projects cost
Change to a genitive case
the cost of the project
the project's cost
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 is expensive. Some
people
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 believe that the government should spend the
money
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 for solving social
problems
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instead
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 of
space
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 exploration projects. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 investigation is
Add an article
a necessity
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necessity
Replace the word
necessary
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, it is my belief that the social
problems
Use synonyms
 need to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
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 considered.
This
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 essay will outline the reasons for my opinion. There are various reasons to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 exploration. The
first
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 and most significant is decreasing of natural resources in the world. The reason for
this
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 is the increasing rapidly of population and modern technology, it can
therefore
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that finding extra resources on other planet is one of the solutions. Apart from
this
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, another point is preparing for
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
show examples
 from outside the world. Some
people
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 believe that there are creatures from
space
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can harm our life.
Therefore
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, investigating
space
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 leads to extend our knowledge about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
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.
Although
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 there are numerous reasons for exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
, I consider that
money
Use synonyms
 should be used for solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
problems
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, some
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 investigation and
space
Use synonyms
 technology are the way to show off their power to other countries.
This
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 leads to spending unnecessary enormous
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 on
space
Use synonyms
 invention.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 face many issues
such
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 as crimes along with lack of food and education in daily life. The most essential of which is
crime
Add an article
a crime
show examples
.
This
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 is mainly due to not have sufficient security
such
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 as lights along the roads and safety
guard
Fix the agreement mistake
guards
show examples
, which leads to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 easily got crimes.
Therefore
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,
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improving the quality of life and developing their society. In conclusion, while there are arguments both for and against investigating
space
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, I believe that
money
Use synonyms
 is much better spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 declining
problems
Use synonyms
 in countries. Personally, it is my belief that it is essential for the governments should concern about certain
problems
Use synonyms
 which
people
Use synonyms
 face
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
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 time.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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