IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
It is true that many
people
 prefer to pursue academic studies at university rather than to follow vocational
courses
.
Although
 I agree that the need for academic graduates can be denied, there is still a shortage of skilled
workers
, including electricians and plumbers. There are several reasons why more
workers
 should be trained in skilled professions.
Firstly
,
such
workers
 are vital when new buildings are constructed ,and when existing buildings have to be renovated or simply maintained.
Moreover
, permanent maintenance staff is employed in museums, hospitals, and schools, ensuring the safety of
people
 that use the buildings.
Secondly
, in many developed countries, there is an existing imbalance in the economy, resulting in graduate unemployment, while at the same time there is a shortage of manual labour.
Therefore
, governments should work with employers to ensure that extra vocational training
courses
 are provided. More
people
 should be encouraged to attend vocational training
courses
. The most important thing is that schools should incorporate relevant subjects into their curriculum, which do not place all the emphasis on preparation for academic studies at university.
Moreover
, workshops in schools should provide an opportunity for schoolchildren to learn “hands-on skills”, and to adapt the physics theory into practical lessons. Another thing is that governments should work with employers to ensure that extra vocational
courses
 are provided.
In addition
, parents should help their children to follow vocational
courses
, explaining the good job prospects and remuneration for
workers
 with skills and qualifications. In conclusion, I think that more
people
 should be encouraged to pursue academic studies, because ,without them, society can not function effectively.
Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
What to do next:
Look at other essays: