More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

#children #countries #obesity

In many developed countries,

Correct article usage

the

show examples

number of children outweigh as compared to the standard level.

This

is becoming

Change the article

show examples

urgent issue in

thier

Correct your spelling

their

countries.

This

essay will

dicuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

both the most dangerous problems and the solutions

about

Change preposition

show examples

obesity. At

first

, the

serios

Correct your spelling

serious

series

problem of the youngsters, who have too much overweight in childhood, lead to poor health. That

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

they are likely to less concentrate

Change preposition

show examples

the study,affecting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

uneffective

Correct your spelling

ineffective

show examples

development.

For instance

, a

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

individual is more effective

learning

Change preposition

in learning

show examples

rather than unhealthy

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

this

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative mindsets in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

childhood

such

as fatty boy better than good shape. There are many solutions to solve

this difficulties

Change the determiner

this difficulty

these difficulties

show examples

including household, school and country

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

Firstly

thier

Correct your spelling

their

parents should provide less fatty food for

thier

Correct your spelling

their

the

kids,

such

as whole wheat bread and free-sugar snacks, and more activities to do with them,

such

as outdoor playing.

, the teachers should teach students to be more aware of taking care

themselves

Change preposition

of themselves

show examples

, which are eating,exercise with a good mindset.

Moreover

, The schools should set a subject supporting the students to love

thier

Correct your spelling

their

taking care of themselves.

Lastly

, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should launch and promote

the

Correct article usage

show examples

healthy campaign

Change preposition

for

show examples

the citizens,

such

as spending leisure time with

thier

Correct your spelling

their

family in the park, which

support

Change the verb form

supports

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

more movement as mentioned above.

Furthermore

, healthy living in

thier

Correct your spelling

their

the

countries leads to many companies producing more well foods in the future. In summary, too much weight is not totally appropriate in their childhood which leads to under standard of the improvement and poor perspectives in the youngsters.

This

issue should be clarified in each

sectors

Change to a singular noun

sector

show examples

including household, schooling system and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

operations. Those will be gradually supporting

adapation

Correct your spelling

adaptation

to become a positive trend.

Submitted by phanphetpor on Sat Aug 14 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Many people are changing their careers. what are the reasons for changing? and can there be any positive or negative impact by person or by society as whole.
Recent times have, no doubts, witnessed occupation being switched by many individuals. There can be many reasons which draw people towards a different profession. This essay tends to explain these causes along with why some professions over others have because such a necessity in modern life.
4
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages ot this outweigh the disadventages
Adlescents are the building blocks of any country, therefore, their education aspects are the prime concerns in the present era. A segment of society believes that study of a foreign language should introduced in the begginer period while others proposed, it should be added in their secondary education. This attitude has more benefits than drawbacks which are discussed in the following paragraphs.
4.5
band
In the past, people used to travel to see the differences from their home country. However, the sceneries in places around the world seem similar nowadays. What are the causes of these similarities? Do you think that the advantages of these similarities outweigh the disadvantages?
It is without a doubt that more and more countries have become similar to some degree. In this essay, I will address the cause of this phenomenon and conclude with my perception.
4
band
Some people think that excessive use of smart phones badly affectts teenager’s literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people suppose that extreme usage of cell phones has negative impacts on literacy capabilities of the younger. I totally agree with this statement because mobile phones have numorous automatic features and adolescents spend the limited time on developing their literacy skills.
7
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packagingof goods.Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the world today,the issue of branding goods is becoming controversial.Some individuals are of the opinion that producers and stores are responsible for the reduction in the amount allocated to packaging their products,while others believe that consumers should endeavour to limit purchasing items with high quality.In my opinion,when producers should package their products well,as it looks attractive to their client, and they purchase and in ,return it increases their profit,however clients who avoid purchasing items with plenty of packages believes that they will buy at a cheaper rate and also they will see the originality of what they want to spend their money on.I will expatiate further on both views,give relevant examples and draw a logical conclusion in the following paragraphs.

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

Your opinion

Many people are changing their careers. what are the reasons for changing? and can there be any positive or negative impact by person or by society as whole.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages ot this outweigh the disadventages

In the past, people used to travel to see the differences from their home country. However, the sceneries in places around the world seem similar nowadays. What are the causes of these similarities? Do you think that the advantages of these similarities outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that excessive use of smart phones badly affectts teenager’s literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packagingof goods.Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.Discuss both views and give your opinion.