Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The family unit is a
first
and smallest
communities
Fix the agreement mistake
community
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, but it is the most important unit as well. Many basic skills in their life are begun in their house including adaptation, patience, mental management or etc. As I mentioned that no matter how much the family important with children, it is not enough.
However
,
This
cannot be a responsibility with parents alone. The
school
is the
second
unit that teaches the
first
social rules in public.
Therefore
, the
school
consists of many students with a variety
backgrounds
Change preposition
of backgrounds
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. Respecting
with
Change preposition
apply
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other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
, punctuality,
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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and
adaptation
Replace the word
adapting
show examples
are educated in
school
. Nowadays we have stayed in
school
longer than our house. We have spent time around 8-10 hours with 5 days per week in our
school
.
That is
almost 50% of our time per day. The social etiquette, characteristic of my personality, positive attitude, adaptability and flexibility, as well as, some concept in my life, I have gotten them from
school
.
However
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the
school
is equally important compared with family. In conclusion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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a responsibility together with family and
school
to teach children to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
show examples
of society in the future. The family is important about mental management and adaptation, as an interpersonal skill.
Therefore
, the
school
educates the basic social skills to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
show examples
.
Submitted by ploypanut on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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