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Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #amount #money
Some individuals are of the belief that it is necessary for
people
 to possess significant wealth, whereas others think the money that can cover basic needs is sufficient to have. While earning to be able to survive their living helps
people
 in spending
time
 with their families, it is crucial to attaining a handsome bank balance so that unavoidable and unpredictable situations can be handled timely. Many
people
 earn that much which can manage their daily expenses easily because they want to be with their families for sharing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
time
. Earners who desire a limited wealth will not work extra
time
 for securing huge funds and will be available to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 family members after their routine shifts.
Thus
, they will not look for other ways of earning wages and
as a result
, will dedicate post-work
time
 to their wife and children.
For example
, most
people
 in Ireland are fulfilled with the income they get from their 9 to 6 job and they happily spend their remaining
time
 of the day watching movies or playing sports with their relatives.
Submitted by ishav on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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