IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People sometimes buy products not because they need them but because other people have them. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #products
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There is an argument that consumers sometimes pay for some items, not due to their wants but others’ haves. I agree with
this
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 statement regarding a part of the consumption trends in the modern market, which leads the vast companies to focus on advertisements with many celebrities ordinary people want to resemble, forming emotional bonds among consumers who have bought the particular commodities in common.
First
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, today's products promotions televise globally, attracting and targetting the big fans of famous singers and successors. The ads release the fames’ lives with the products to move ones’ minds toward them rather than give enough information about the qualities of the things. According to some interviews on shoppers, impulsive buying has an impact on reducing much stress for exhausted workers since they feel satisfied with just having them regardless of their usefulness.
Finally
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, without frighteningly exciting shopping, they would have gotten depressed in their everyday lives.
Second
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, humankind tends to pursue emotional bonds with their acquaintances. The more payments economic actors have unreasonably, the stronger desire there is that they socialize with others.
For instance
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, recent youngsters in their 20’s and 30’s were into cryptocurrencies
such
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 as bitcoin and altcoin. Mostly, they know the investment contains an extremely high risk of falling to zero but share the experiences of failure and success with their peers and friends to build deeper relationships.
As a result
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, they achieve some feelings of belongings and security, escaping from their lonely life in
this
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 cynical society. In a nutshell, following others’ buying involves the advantages as I mentioned above to buyers.
Therefore
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, the behaviours of spending money on no needs appear occasionally with emotional benefits.
Submitted by redrock1980 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • durability
  • sustainability
  • longevity
  • affordability
  • consumerism
  • waste
  • environmental impact
  • value for money
  • customer satisfaction
  • brand loyalty
  • consumption
  • economic growth
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