IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Last week you were on a flight to London. Unfortunately, when you got off the plane, you left a bag there. You did not remember about the bag until you got to your hotel. Write a letter to the airline. In your letter: •explain what happened •describe the bag and its contents •say what you would like them to do about this problem.

#week #flight #london #plane #bag #hotel #airline #•explain #•describe #contents #•say
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing regarding my lost
luggage
. On Monday, I was flying to London,
when
Correct word choice
and when
show examples
 I got off the plane, I left my
bag
 at the airport. I would like you to consider the return of my
bag
. Indeed,
this
 problem happened to me because the first my plane was delayed, so I had to rush in order to get to the next flight, so my
luggage
 left at the airport. My
bag
 is a small red
luggage
 with a lot of white stickers. It should be easy to recognise it because of its brightness.
Also
, there is a strip with my initials on the suitcase. In my
luggage
Add a comma
luggage,
show examples
 there were some candies as souvenirs for my friends.
Also
, I put my essential documents for my trip. I would like you to reconsider returning my
bag
, you can send it by
Add an article
the
show examples
post office because the
luggage
 has small measurements. Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task achievement
While the letter successfully addresses all parts of the task, it contains some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'the first my plane' should be 'my first plane' and 'I would like you to consider the return of my bag' should be 'I would like you to assist in the return of my bag.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea. The paragraph explaining what happened could be more concise, and the detailed description of the bag and its contents could be separated for better clarity.
suitable writing tone
The letter has a polite and appropriate tone throughout, which is pleasing and suits a formal context well.
greeting and closing
The closing lines were effectively used to express hope for a positive response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flight details
  • moment of realization
  • distinctive features
  • valuable items
  • urgent matter
  • retrieving the bag
  • lost and found department
  • customer service
  • identify
  • recover
  • deliver
  • luggage
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