Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with the statement

#governments #world #money #illnesses #diseases #health #education #prevention

Many people believe the authorities spend much less

money

on health education and prevention than on treating illnesses. I admit

such

statement

Correct article usage

a statement

show examples

and will explain my thoughts in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

, it is a

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

fact that lots of

money

Change the verb form

are

show examples

invested in medicine every day. Some countries substantially benefit from it

with

Change preposition

show examples

providing lessons at school and buying the newest devices to solve hard medical issues.

However

, the majority of countries can not allocate a budget right and

consequently

throw the vast amount of

money

away. Unfortunately, in

this

case

Add a comma

,case

show examples

money

is spent and no improvements are done.

Moreover

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all the news sources publish

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about how many dollars were spent on medicine reforms in each country what looks hilarious.

Secondly

, the more attention will be paid to health, the more people will be aware of different types of diseases. The coronavirus is a great example in nowadays conditions. When the number of ill people started to grow and the percentage of deaths increased rapidly, authorities took quick

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

First

, many billboards and advertising campaigns around the cities contained information about how to keep distance, wash hands and if possible to stay at home.

Furthermore

, visiting public places without a mask was forbidden.

Finally

, there was a decline in the incidence rate for some period. To sum up, both treating illnesses and health education are important. In my opinion, if more

money

goes to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education,

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

number

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

of diseases will be in the future.

Submitted by mats180707 on Sun Aug 15 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
discuss the advantage and disadvange of living in the city?
There’s a reason big cities attract big populations. With endless activities, great food, and better jobs, it’s no surprise many people dream of making the move.Large corporations tend to flock to cities, and one look at urban area skyscrapers will give you a good idea of what companies you can apply to.While big city life has a ton to offer, it can also come with drawbacks, especially if you’re used to a more rural environment.This essay will discuss the advantages along disadvantages of this notion in the forthcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?
Nowadays many parents give their children everything they want and allow them to do whatever they want to do, which reveals that they are doting their kids. Some people think that it is good for children, while others think it is not, which sparks a controversial discussion. From my perspective, spoiling children is definitely detrimental and will lead to a destructive consequences for these children when they grow up.
5.5
band
Some people feel online courses are better while others feel classroom courses are good? Discuss both the views and give your opinion.Some people feel online courses are better while others feel classroom courses are good? Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Some believe that taking online classes is more effective method for learning and retaining information better, however others support the idea of traditional classroom courses. Even though both methods have their own specific positive aspects, I believe that e-learning is more preferable option since it offers more facilities that enhances people's convenience and is more time-efficient.
7.5
band
Dear Mr. Garg, I am writing this letter to seek some information about rental accommodation properties in Ahmedabad. I plan to move there with my family by the end of this month. Currently, I am living in Surat. Recently, I got promoted to higher-level position in my company. As a plan of expansion, the organization has decided to start a new office there and I will be responsible for looking after that. So I have to shift there. Furthermore, our new planned office is located by S.G.Highway. As I am not very familiar with the city, I would like to rent property in the nearby area. Someone has suggested Satellite and Thaltej, I want to consider that too. I am moving there with my husband and two kids, the house needs to have at least 2 bedrooms. Additionally, it needs to be semi-furnished especially in the kitchen with a gas connection. My kids are still young so it needs to be safer for them. It would be great for me if you could send me some details prior to our moving with concerns terms. I am looking forward to your positive reply. Yours faithfully, Jaimini PatelYou are moving to a new city with your family. Write a letter to a real estate agent to enquire about accommodations. Include in your letter Why you are moving Where you want to live The type of accommodation required
I am writing this letter to seek some information about rental accommodation properties in Ahmedabad. I plan to move there with my family by the end of this month.
5
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that the importance of learning a foreign language is only to have a trip or work in another country while others believe that there are various reasons to learn a foreign language. However, this essay would discuss both perspectives and provides reasons why I strongly advocate that studying a new language would be beneficial for many things.

Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with the statement

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

discuss the advantage and disadvange of living in the city?

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

Some people feel online courses are better while others feel classroom courses are good? Discuss both the views and give your opinion.Some people feel online courses are better while others feel classroom courses are good? Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.