Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with the statement

#governments #world #money #illnesses #diseases #health #education #prevention

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Many people believe the authorities spend much less

money

Use synonyms

on health education and prevention than on treating illnesses. I admit

such

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statement

Correct article usage

a statement

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and will explain my thoughts in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

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, it is a

well known

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well-known

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fact that lots of

money

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Change the verb form

are

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invested in medicine every day. Some countries substantially benefit from it

with

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providing lessons at school and buying the newest devices to solve hard medical issues.

However

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, the majority of countries can not allocate a budget right and

consequently

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throw the vast amount of

money

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away. Unfortunately, in

this

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case

Add a comma

,case

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money

Use synonyms

is spent and no improvements are done.

Moreover

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Change preposition

apply

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all the news sources publish

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about how many dollars were spent on medicine reforms in each country what looks hilarious.

Secondly

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, the more attention will be paid to health, the more people will be aware of different types of diseases. The coronavirus is a great example in nowadays conditions. When the number of ill people started to grow and the percentage of deaths increased rapidly, authorities took quick

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

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First

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, many billboards and advertising campaigns around the cities contained information about how to keep distance, wash hands and if possible to stay at home.

Furthermore

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, visiting public places without a mask was forbidden.

Finally

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, there was a decline in the incidence rate for some period. To sum up, both treating illnesses and health education are important. In my opinion, if more

money

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goes to

the

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apply

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education,

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

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number

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

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of diseases will be in the future.

Submitted by mats180707 on Sun Aug 15 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with the statement

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things .other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single –sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, ther people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.