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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
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There is no doubt that many people would rather study in foreign countries to learn more things and get more traditional skills. It is believed by many individuals that finishing university in another city or country away from their family is beneficial for
students
,
while
 other people think that it can be hard for them . In the following paragraphs, attending a university away from home can take more advantages rather than disadvantages. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that the benefits
students
 might gain from studying in another city are pretty useful for their future so that they can acquire more knowledge.
Firstly
, it is one of the best chances to develop their personality and boost confidence.
This
 happens because living alone away from their home will help
students
 to take responsibility which will eventually lead to developing their personality.
Secondly
,
students
 will have more freedom and independence. To explain
further
,
students
 have lots of time to accomplish their tasks and get more information related to their specific subjects. Admittedly, there are quite a few issues which pupils face too today in foreign countries. One problem is that it might expose them to some financial challenges how in managing their budgets .
In other words
 ,
students
 will face some barriers to how to cook food or to cover their daily expenses.
Moreover
, homesickness is one of the serious problems which foreigners encounter these days .
Thus
, suffering homesickness can affect
students
' performance and may
also
 lead to bad results in their studies.
To sum up
 , everything that has been started so far benefits to study abroad can control disadvantage because of the reasons which are mentioned above.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a single main idea that is well-supported with examples.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The task response is complete, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university.
task achievement
The main ideas are clearly presented, and the essay covers important aspects of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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