Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a Positive or a negative development
In today's situation, where mostly all individual has at least one mobile
phone
in their hand. Some academic institutions have restricted the use of mobile phones
as a reaction. There are many opinions regarding the action. While
some agreed, I believe the disadvantages of this
restriction outweigh the advantages.
The upside of the obligation is there are fewer distractions from the use of mobile phones
. Nowadays, we can do everything from a single phone
. Chat on WhatsApp, surf on Google, or socialise on X and Instagram. Not to mention
if there is a sound leak from the user of the phone
, imagine if it happens during exam time. It will bother the entire class.
Although
the statements above are debatable, bringing mobile phones
to school
has advantages more than disadvantages. Students are able to immediately search by themself if they are still confused about the class before, thus
there won't be a time gap between the confusion and the knowledge search. Forgot is a very human thing to happen, there are huge chance the person will forget what they want to search for and end up forgetting it. Moreover
, mobile phones
are used to communicate. In an emergency, a phone
will have an enormous role. For instance
, someone suddenly sick or the worst case is in danger. In this
kind of situation calling some people might be the best solution. Of course, The reasons I mentioned only work when the students are aware that the purpose of going to school
is to study. After all, they can play with their devices after school
.
In short, the advantages of the restriction of using mobile phones
in institution
are reasonable. I strongly believe Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
this
restriction is a negative development since using mobile phones
in school
is still needed, especially in emergency situations that require one to call another.Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on
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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction by presenting a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your stance on the development being either positive or negative. This will make your argument more straightforward to the reader.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by offering more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While you mentioned several advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone restrictions in schools, providing more detailed scenarios or statistics could bolster your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph organization by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This can be achieved through clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Avoid informal language and strive for a more academic tone throughout your essay. Phrases like 'Forgot is a very human thing to happen' can be rephrased for clarity and formality.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments without introducing new information. Restate your main points and clearly reaffirm your stance to ensure a strong finish to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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