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Children obesity is an increasing problem in Australia .As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students seat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #obesity #australia #two #thirds #schools #responsibility #students #seat #amount #exercise
It is argued that two out of
third
 Australian
children
 face a big problem about overweight.
Weight
 monitoring and workout activities are been a responsibility of the
school
. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and think It is a direct responsibility of the
school
 to look after any
children
 by monitor their
weight
 and control
calories
intake
.
First
 of all, exercise is the most important
role
 to control
weight
loss
 situation. Schools should plan or have classes to work out. Nowadays most
children
 spend time more than 8 hours in their
school
 for 5 days. It is almost 50% of their time per day. The exercise classes can promote their motivation to burn
calories
 especially the
school
 give a special point if they can do it.
On the other hand
, it is better if they have a friend to try
weight
loss
 together.
Second
 of all,
calories
intake
 is a
second
 important
role
 in
weight
loss
 conditions. The
calories
intake
 should balance with their activities or
calories
 outtake. Nutritionists should calculate the optimal
calories
intake
 balanced with their lifestyle. While
school
 should cook the ideal food for
children
 health.
Lastly
,
diseases
 are important factors to change them that become fat. Many
diseases
 interfere with the metabolism, digestion, and absorption processes. Routine health checks for
role
 other
diseases
 out should be performed in
children
 with obesity. Nowadays many reports have been published about
diseases
 that make obesity person
such
 as hormonal disturbance and gastrointestinal disorder.
However
, all
children
 that are overweight should be examined by a doctor and/or nutritionist. In conclusion, the
school
 is an important
role
 to monitor
children
weight
 and promote
weight
loss
 in the correct way. Balancing between
calories
 outtake and
intake
 are the essential steps for the dieter, as well as ,
role
 out other
diseases
 that become the pig problem about their
weight
.
Submitted by ploypanut on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childhood obesity
  • nutritional education
  • physical activity programs
  • holistic approach
  • early intervention
  • long-term health issues
  • primary responsibility
  • resource constraints
  • privacy concerns
  • collaborate with parents and communities
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