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Band 4

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Other believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #country #host #event #events
International
sports
 are becoming more and more popular in recent times.
Therefore
, a segment of society opines that a
country
 should welcome
sports
 by hosting games in the homeland; diametrically opposed to
this
, others believe that
such
 kinds of events might
possess
Verb problem
pose
show examples
 some threat to the home
country
. Both sides may advance equally compelling arguments by supporting themselves. I believe a
country
 should enjoy the privilege of hosting
this
 type of event. First and foremost, the privilege of hosting international
sports
 in the
country
 could benefit the
country
 in several ways. The first one is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 brings name and fame to the
country
 as numerous spectators visit the
country
 to enjoy the thrilling and electrifying environment of the
sports
.
Secondly
, organising these kinds of events contributed to the economy. Many
sports
 lovers who travel to the
country
,
for instance
, to enjoy the direct insight of the game, invest their money in accommodation and restaurants and in either direct or indirect ways, boost the economy of the nation.
Last
 but not least, these events inspire the viewers to participate in the games and uplift the spirit of staying fit and healthy. On the flip side,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spectator
Fix the agreement mistake
spectators
show examples
 from different countries may
possess
Verb problem
pose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 threat to the
country
 and the authorities have to invest a lot of money to enforce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large and strict
force
Fix the agreement mistake
forces
show examples
 to control the crowd.
Nevertheless
, the local residents may be exhausted and frustrated by the strict security measures and extra masses on the roads.
To conclude
then
, whilst there exist contrasting stances on the matter. It is texting work to decide which one
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a more positive outcome. Howbeit, I am inclined that nations should host international
sports
 occasions to lift the economy and property of the
country
; I admit it is arduous to control the crowd, but it brings recognition to the nation.
Submitted by parneet.k876 on

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task response
Task response: The essay addresses both views but lacks a clear opinion statement and thorough development of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more well-structured. The essay lacks clarity in presenting and developing the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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