IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many cities today, most people live in large apartment blocks. Does this kind of accomodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#cities #people #apartment #blocks #accomodation
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In present years, many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
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 stay in huge
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
 building.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think the benefit of living in massive accommodation blocks
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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there are
also
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 some drawbacks. One evident benefit of most
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
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 to live in the enormous flat block, because
mostly
Replace the word
most
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 big apartments are located in the major city, making it more convenient for
community
Add an article
the community
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. Because, the downtown
center
Change the spelling
centre
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are contain
Change the verb form
contains
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 the vital business, modern technology and
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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 transportation
that is
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 useful and helping social life
more
Change the word
apply
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easier.
For instance
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, the transit system
skytrain
Change the capitalization
Skytrain
SkyTrain
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 in Siam square of Bangkok
are really benefit
Change the verb form
are really benefited
are really benefiting
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 for that
people
Use synonyms
 to commute from work to apartment.
As a result
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,
their
Replace the word
there
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 are could
aviod
Correct your spelling
avoid
 rush hours traffic congestion that making them do not get the pressure and have spare time
for
Change preposition
to
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 spend with their family.
On the other hand
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, there are obvious
disadventages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to inhabit in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 huge apartment. It would
be have
Correct your spelling
behave
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 not private for
big
Add an article
a big
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family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 even their have the massive area, as the space design and construction just only one block, so
this
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 could cause them do not have privacy in their life.
Therefore
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, if they
are need
Change the verb form
need
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 to separate the room, they
are have
Change the verb form
have
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 to
rebuide
Correct your spelling
rebuild
 the accommodation. Overall, it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 living in
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 apartment could be more
benefitcail
Correct your spelling
beneficial
, despite some
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can tackle that problem.
Submitted by rabbit_big12 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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