People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Lifestyle often affects

people

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health

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such

Linking Words

bad habits will lead to certain illnesses. A number of

people

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said that someone who does not have healthy habits should pay more for his own

health

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care

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. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion because it is not fair to charge someone more if he obtains the same treatment as someone who has a healthy lifestyle. I think that

people

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who have unhealthy lifestyles will go for

health

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care

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frequently, and it is enough to become their consideration for changing their lifestyles. The same

health

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care

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should require the same bill, as long as the number of necessities and procedures are the same. The treatment for each

illness

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should be the same. It can be different

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when the

illness

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has a different level.

For instance

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, if I get influenza so does my friend, we can be cured by exactly the same medicine. But, if my condition is worse than my friend's,

then

Linking Words

I need an extra cure for it,

extra

Add an article

the extra

show examples

price can be considered.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is not fair to add an extra price for the same

illness

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. If the goal of increasing the bill is changing unhealthy to healthy lifestyles, the frequency of going to

health

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care

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is enough. The more they go for

health

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care

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, the more expenditure they have.

Also

Linking Words

, the pain of

illness

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often bothers their daily activity.

For example

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, I can not read and understand a story when my head is dizzy.

Therefore

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, the pain of

illness

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should be enough to increase

health

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awareness. In conclusion, adding additional bills for caring for

people

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who have unhealthy habits is not fair, since the medicine is the same.

Besides

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that, the pain of the

illness

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is enough to increase their

health

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awareness.

ivannizarSun Sep 01 2024

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task response

Your essay addresses the task and provides reasons for your opinion. However, consider providing more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, statistical data or real-life cases could make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are clearly presented, and the structure of your essay is logical. To improve coherence, try using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, words like 'moreover,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' can help guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of words and phrases. For instance, the phrase 'if I get influenza so does my friend' could be rephrased for variety. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well. This helps the reader understand your main argument from the beginning.

task response

Your main points are clearly stated and supported with relevant examples. This shows that you can organize your ideas effectively and provide evidence to back them up.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical flow, with each paragraph building on the previous one. This makes it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

burden
lifestyle-related diseases
healthcare systems
personal responsibility
preventable diseases
healthcare costs
ethical considerations
penalizing
discrimination
socio-economic groups
deterrent
health education
financial penalties
health inequalities
access to healthcare
preventive medicine
public health goals
promoting healthy lifestyles

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People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the age of digital communication and social media,face-to-face interactions are becoming less common.Some people think that this is decreasing people's ability to communicate well in person. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits in society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the advantages?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behavior. What is your opinion?

These days many parents want their children to study a second language such as English. Do you think it is important for younger children to study a new language? Do you think schools should teach every student in primary school a second language?