Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People
have various views about whether young
people
would be beneficial from the real experience of
ex-criminals
. They might prevent teenagers from committing a
crime
, while I, personally, disagree with the idea. It can be argued that
ex-criminals
could be the best
people
to help young students
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get rid of crimes. They could give young students a warning through their own stories and real experience, and
children
could learn the bored but serious criminal knowledge in a more vivid way.
However
,
such
education might have a detrimental impact on young
people
. Adolescents might go astray
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they have no ability to distinguish right from wrong. Students might be too naive to tell the right from wrong, and they might be curious about the bad behaviours that
ex-criminals
have done, and they are likely to mimic them, so they might commit a
crime
by accident. In my opinion, I would argue against the idea that teenagers talk to
ex-criminals
in order to prevent themselves from committing crimes. There are a variety of methods that we could take to reduce the
crime
rates.
Firstly
, parents and teachers tend to be responsible for teaching
children
not to be against the
law
. It is more important for
children
to acquire knowledge of the
law
in their daily lives. It will be too late to teach
children
when they have already committed a
crime
.
Secondly
, nowadays, it is impossible for young
people
to enjoy life without mass media. The young generation has access to receive more relevant information through television programs or social media platforms, and these media could promote more positive news rather than violent information.
This
could lead to a decreasing the rate of
crime
of juvenile
people
.
Finally
, some sports stars and super idols should and have responsibilities to set a positive example for their young fans. In conclusion, I do not
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
the view that young teenagers learn
law
knowledge from real cases of
ex-criminals
. All the governments, schools and parents could make a contribution to stop the young generation to behave against the
law
.
Submitted by kongchenchen522 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: