IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
There are many considerations that
students
 can take advantage of university education so they should cover all of the costs to serve their studies.
This
 writer believes that investing in education not only positively affects each individual but
also
 our society.
To begin
 with, the government should pay a part of the fee and create conditions for excellent
students
 to learn in a good quality school. To explain, some pupils in difficult situations
such
 as living in remote areas or lacking money cannot go to school like their peers, the awareness can support them to gain more opportunities to try their best in studying.
For instance
, the authorities make grants for scholarships, support children have a chance to study abroad, and improve their selves in a good environment.
Thus
, many more children can able to be literate, and our society
also
 become more developed than in the past.
Besides
, after learning at university, learners will possess a huge amount of knowledge and skills that can be applied to reality. To clarify, theories
students
 learn from their teacher or books can be useful during work, and increase the speed of completing tasks with highly effective results.
For example
, administrating Mathematics into construction can help the building become symmetrical and perfect.
Consequently
, if the government pay a fortune to train excellent pupils, they can receive much more than what they invest. Taking everything into account, it should be noticed that education is a worthy investment that can take benefit of.
Moreover
,
students
 in difficult situations should be treated equally to improve as their peers in order to have a good life.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined to guide the reader through your argument. A more explicit statement of your position in the introduction could strengthen your essay.
logical structure
Try to enhance the cohesion between paragraphs by using more varied transitional phrases that clearly show the relationship between ideas.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While the examples given are relevant, adding detailed case studies or statistics could make your arguments more convincing.
task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, with a well-articulated argument that addresses the question directly.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use a range of linguistic structures and vocabulary, which enhances the readability of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: