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Band 5

IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, ILLITERACY RATES ARE STILL HIGH. WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

#parts #world #illiteracy #rates
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Although
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 it is generally accepted that modern society is considered to be highly developed, there are still many
people
Use synonyms
 in the world who can not read nor write. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to discuss the causes for illiteracy as well as give some suggestions about it. As far as I am concerned, the major cause
for
Change preposition
of
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 illiteracy is poverty. In many
areas
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 in the world,
people
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even
Add a missing verb
are even
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 unable to afford daily food, no mention going to school. Even in some
areas
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 in war, all they can do is trying to survive. When making a
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 becomes the primary thing to do,
then
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 the individual is unlikely to spend money or time on other things,
such
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 as getting educated. As for those who live in poor
areas
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 or even war
areas
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, Reading or writing is
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Correct article usage
the secondly
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secondly
Change the adverb
second
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 priority comparing to livelihood.
Furthermore
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, when a
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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 lacks books and other teaching items, and parents are not aware of the
significant
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significance
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 of education,
then
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 the
next
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 generation is less likely to acquire the skill of
read
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reading
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 and
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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. In order to break the cycle of poverty, there must be something emergency that the
government
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 should do. Speaking of the ways to improve
this
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 phenomenon, I believe the
government
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 should take the major responsibility. From the perspective of
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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, the
government
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 should donor funding for literacy. If the
people
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 are supported by the local
government
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 from
the
Correct article usage
an
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 economic perspective,
then
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 they could go to school without stress.
Secondly
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, the adult education system should be taking into
consider
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consideration
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 since many adults should have the equal right to literacy. By doing
this
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, I believe the situation could be better in the future. To conclude,
although
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 it seems that we have been in a highly civilized society nowadays,
still
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,still
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 there are many
people
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 who cannot read and write in the world. I believe that there are different causes for illiteracy in different
areas
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,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 the major cause is poverty in most situations, and the
government
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 should do something to solve
this
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 problem,
such
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 as funding and supporting adult schools.
Submitted by kouyuyuyu0911 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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