IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, ILLITERACY RATES ARE STILL HIGH. WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

Although
it is generally accepted that modern society is considered to be highly developed, there are still many
people
in the world who can not read nor write. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I am going to discuss the causes for illiteracy as well as give some suggestions about it. As far as I am concerned, the major cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
illiteracy is poverty. In many
areas
in the world,
people
even
Add a missing verb
are even
show examples
unable to afford daily food, no mention going to school. Even in some
areas
in war, all they can do is trying to survive. When making a
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
becomes the primary thing to do,
then
the individual is unlikely to spend money or time on other things,
such
as getting educated. As for those who live in poor
areas
or even war
areas
, Reading or writing is
Correct article usage
the secondly
show examples
secondly
Change the adverb
second
show examples
priority comparing to livelihood.
Furthermore
, when a
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
lacks books and other teaching items, and parents are not aware of the
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
of education,
then
the
next
generation is less likely to acquire the skill of
read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
and
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
. In order to break the cycle of poverty, there must be something emergency that the
government
should do. Speaking of the ways to improve
this
phenomenon, I believe the
government
should take the major responsibility. From the perspective of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, the
government
should donor funding for literacy. If the
people
are supported by the local
government
from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
economic perspective,
then
they could go to school without stress.
Secondly
, the adult education system should be taking into
consider
Replace the word
consideration
show examples
since many adults should have the equal right to literacy. By doing
this
, I believe the situation could be better in the future. To conclude,
although
it seems that we have been in a highly civilized society nowadays,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
there are many
people
who cannot read and write in the world. I believe that there are different causes for illiteracy in different
areas
,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
the major cause is poverty in most situations, and the
government
should do something to solve
this
problem,
such
as funding and supporting adult schools.
Submitted by kouyuyuyu0911 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: