Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on health and other measures are required.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
believe that the
sports
Use synonyms
facilities should be expanded to bring development in public
health
Use synonyms
. While others argue that it is necessary to take other steps as well rather than depending on
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
centre.
Also
Linking Words
, In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and give my opinion. According to some
people
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bringing
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
increase in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number of
sports
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centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
; is the better way to raise up the
level
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of communal fitness.
Sports
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facilities should be provided frequently in the public
such
Linking Words
as gyms, swimming pools,
sports
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hall and parks to do
sports
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recreational activities. It is very helpful to bring development in their
health
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
providing
sports
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equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
for some individuals
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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not able to purchase the tools; which are part of their daily exercise.
Besides
Linking Words
, some of the facilities are providing many benefits cards or better deals to their regular customers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
cheap
Add an article
a cheap
show examples
method to uplift the
level
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of communal
health
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. To exemplify, recently one research had
showed
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shown
show examples
the higher percentage of
people
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, who preferred to use
sports
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centre for their better
health
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.
On the other hand
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, some masses say that depending on these activities is not much enough. It is important to bring
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
use other steps to upgrade the
level
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of public
health
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as healthy diet plans, physical exercises and necessary supplements. It is necessary to follow enrich diet plans which
contains
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contain
show examples
, fresh fruits, vegetables,
diary
Correct your spelling
dairy
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products and water.
Additionally
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, regular physical exercises
includes
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include
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
yoga and walking to keep them fit
as
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apply
show examples
physically and mentally.
By contrast
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, medical checkups on time are very important.
People
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should not take any supplements without
prescription
Correct article usage
a prescription
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from
doctor
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a doctor
the doctor
show examples
. In my opinion, I would suggest that to bring improvement in
punjabi
Change the capitalization
Punjabi
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health
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gyms are not only the way.
Also
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, the other platforms need to be taken to uplift the
level
Use synonyms
of communal
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rupindervirknz on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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