Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
believe that exercising is crucial for the environment, the others think
game
Correct article usage
a game
show examples
is nothing more than a pastime activity. There are an advantage and a disadvantage that will be discussed in the following paragraph. Nowadays, society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
interested in sport more and more than in the past. There are three benefit points.
Firstly
, society
exercise
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exercises
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for better health.
For instance
, lots of workers have to sit for doing works which are whole days, so they will be backache and got fat.
Secondly
, many
crowd
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crowds
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have the amount of space after their finished work.
For example
, in the evening when
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
are done with their jobs, there are hours which is one or two hours before their dinner
time
, so it is better to work out in
this
leisure hour.
Thirdly
, everyone
want
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wants
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to be good
characters
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character
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; it cannot deny that
first
impression is very important for everyone whom they meet, so exercising can improve
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
shape of their body. From my experience, I used to
weight
Correct your spelling
weigh
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over standard, so when I decreased my weight
i
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I
show examples
have
a
Remove the article
apply
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good health and a better personality more and more.
However
, there are two drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
statement. Only
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
who are still young and older crowd that thinking of sport when they have a leisure life.
Firstly
, young
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
who aged under 12 years old do exercising when they have a
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
.
For instance
, by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age, people are still eating and learn at school, so when there is spend
time
with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
families, do some
of
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apply
show examples
sports
Add an article
the sports
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is a good way to spend
time
together with their parents. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, people who the old
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
aged always do some sport,
such
as yoga when they have leisure
time
. In conclusion, working out is essential for society, the others think, there is nothing more than spend
time
when a free
time
. From my point of view, there are both benefits and drawbacks as the above that are detailed.
Submitted by npetchrat on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Chronic diseases
  • Teamwork
  • Cultural divides
  • Revenue generator
  • Infrastructure
  • Patriotism
  • Role models
  • Commercialization
  • Recreation
  • Stress-relief
  • Elite sports
  • Injury risks
  • Doping scandals
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