some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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In recent years, factors that contribute to personal

success

Use synonyms

have been a debatable topic.

While

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I acknowledge the validity of determination and hard

work

Use synonyms

to gain

success

Use synonyms

, external influences like wealth and appearance are

also

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equally important. Introduction OK

To begin

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, diligence allows

people

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to accumulate knowledge and build essential skills step by step, preparing them for future tests.

For example

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, high school students can

work

Use synonyms

hard to win a scholarship or to get into a prestigious university, both of which will provide them with significant academic opportunities.

This

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will be a great foundation for students to achieve more

success

Use synonyms

later in life because they will apply the same diligent attitude to other challenges like working aboard, starting a business or raising their children. To succeed,

however

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, there are bound to be many failures, encouraging

people

Use synonyms

to compromise and quit. Resoluteness is

therefore

Linking Words

needed to help them stay disciplined. Nick Vujcic is a prime example of an unyielding spirit since his disability has not prevented him from bringing positivity to the community by being an inspirational figure. He participated in soccer matches, did numerous presentations around the world, and wrote books about how to overcome the hardships of lacking body parts.

In addition

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to external factors, internal factors like appearance are

also

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highly valued. Having a beautiful appearance helps you make a good impression on your superiors and easier to be trusted at

work

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. To explain, to have nice appearances,

people

Use synonyms

have to take care of themselves regularly by eating healthy food, doing exercises, and putting on makeup.

This

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proves that they are in charge of themselves and are more likely to have responsibility at

work

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. Relationship network is

also

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something

that is

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considered to have an impact on

success

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. To clarify, you can not operate your business by yourself. There will be a lot of support from different aspects

such

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as marketing, accounting, or the human resources department.

Furthermore

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people

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with many relationships will have a greater chance of

success

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thanks to referrals from their acquaintances to their friends.

Hence

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, it is said that one’s

success

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will always come with help from others.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph fully supports the main argument for a well-rounded discussion.

coherence cohesion

Make a clear conclusion summarizing both viewpoints to solidify your argument and provide closure.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and deeper analyses to support your points effectively.

task achievement

The essay shows a good understanding of the topic by discussing both viewpoints and providing relevant examples.

task achievement

Ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with distinct paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the debate.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory partofhigh school programmes To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.